Oh, you've been gone for a while...

Lately, I've been trying to be more social and going out to gatherings, meetups, parties (because that's what people my age do, right?), and the result has been, unsurprisingly, that I come in contact with real, live human beings. People tend to exchange stories, converse, and generally "interact" at these sorts of things, and I found one of these interactions to something that was said rather striking

Me: Yeah, I moved to Heidelberg, then Berlin, and then I was in a couple of other places but now I'm back.

Them: How long ago was that?

Me: That was 2011

Them: Oh, you've been gone for a while...

Hm. I suppose that's true. It's been about 3.5 years, and if someone had told me that I'd be  doing what I'm doing now, I probably wouldn't have believed them. 

crumbly sandcastle

A few things have happened that have really called into question exactly what I'm doing and where and why and how I'm doing it.

I recently got a letter from the tax office here that said I have to A) fill out a tax form for 2012 and 2013 and B) I'm not allowed to do any sort of freelance work.

I'm fine with point A, even though I had to pay 100 Euros to get a record of all of my invoices from my bank but that's fine, that's something I can do.

Point B is something that also makes no sense because I was always allowed to work in Heidelberg as a freelancer but apparently they take issue with that in Berlin, even though according to the law (§6 Absatz 3) I am technically allowed to freelance.

I went to talk to an advisor offered by the University here and they brought it to my attention that apparently the Ausländerbehörde and the tax office communicate with one another, so this could result in a problem for my visa extension. Which would be really upsetting because, even though I have a residence permit until April, I was planning to write my thesis, work as an assistant to the coordinator until August, and possibly apply for a doctorate thereafter.

I have an appointment at the Ausländerbehörde on the 24th, which was already making me nervous because they want all this financial information that will very easily show that I haven't been getting support from my parents, even though I provided a letter saying that I would. And now this issue comes up and it kind of makes me wonder: why should I fight to stay in a country that doesn't really want me here?

I've always had it in the back of my mind: if it's not going to be possible (read: relatively easy) then I can just rationalize it into being unimportant. Sour grapes, I guess.

It seems that every few weeks there's another thing. I got back to Germany and it was temporary job, temporary visa, temporary living situation, and now it's....slightly longer (yet still temporary) versions of all of those things. It's worked out up until now, but how much longer will it last?

Birthday pastries, pants, and taxes

I turned a quarter of a century old this last tuesday. The day itself was alright, I had to do some tuesday things, including an interview in the middle of nowhere, but I managed to get dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in a while, so that was good.

My real birthday party was on Saturday, and I commemorated the event by purchasing a kilo of delectable pastries from the Arabic bakery down the street from my house

I (kinda) managed to not eat all of them in one sitting...small victories!

I also went shopping for new pants because this happened:

I've been workin with two pairs of old, faithful trousers for the past couple of years. As I bent over to get something out from under my bed, the nether region of these H&Ms decided to give up the ghost. So, I decided to go shopping. It was about time...

I also (quite unhappily) received a very strongly worded letter from the Finanzamt in Berlin, saying that I have to provide them with tax information from 2012 to 2013, and that I'm not allowed to freelance, and that I've been told multiple times. 

letter of death

While the first point is necessary (I guess) The second and third are completely not true. Since receiving the letter last week, I've paused and reflected on this predicament. Granted, I freaked out a little bit at the beginning but, I'm not the scared and unsure Anfänger that I once was. This isn't my first time dealing with German bureaucracy, and I'm certain I can figure out a way to deal with this. It's still kind of irritating that every time I have an issue (housing, work, university, thesis, whatever) the thing gets resolved for a few weeks only to be trumped by yet another problem. Oh well, like I said, this isn't my first time at the goat rodeo, and it probably won't be my last. 

So much to do!

Stability? What's that?

Nah, I have things to do, people to interview, emails to answer, meetings to schedule, languages to learn, colloquiums to attend, tandems to go to, and places to be.

The semester started off with a bang. Or maybe actually a semi-loud, sort of confused bump. Some kind of noise, anyways. We had our first meeting and it became abundantly clear that we all have a lot of work to do and literally nobody (including the faculty) is 100% sure of how it actually will get done. So, in tried and true GSP fashion, I'm just going to continue moving forward and eventually everything will work out for the best maybe.

The research position at the Kinderstiftung has been going really well. I've gotten some really good feedback from my advisor, and everyone there seems to really believe in the work that's being done. The interview phase starts in November, after a meeting with the board of directors on the 30th. The only hitch is that I've sent out over 100 emails and only 13 have responded. I'm hoping that with each day, I'll continue to stay on the same rate of scheduling about 3 or so interviews, so that after a month of planning, I only have to execute them. We'll really just have to see how it goes.

I was also hired at Humboldt University as an assistant for the new coordinator of the GSP. That's going to be a rather pleasant time, I think. Mostly just sending emails and supporting the faculty in whatever they need. It's a sizable undertaking especially considering our last coordinator had managed to get everything up and running after only being at the University for a year. I'm just really glad to be able to work in a field that I want to go into, get paid a little extra, and have the institution of Humboldt Universität backing me for when I have to go back to the dreaded Visa office to renew everything. The only thing I'm really worried about is some bureaucratic technicalities that may or may not prevent an extension...but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

First things first: Thesis!

Gratitude

After realizing that I am indeed able to pay rent this (and next!) month, I came to the conclusion that I am in a really good place. I have at least one awesome job and am possibly going to get another. I went to the doctor this morning and everything was normal. The weather is nice. Things are generally pleasant.

I'm also really grateful for the support that I've gotten out of the blue from my family and a family friend. They made it possible for me to replace my somewhat broken computer which I was, of course, low-key worried about, as one generally needs a computer to do things like write a Master's thesis. So thanks for that!

Here it is, the beautiful tablet/notebook. I'm on the cusp of wondering if it was really necessary to get something this expensive but, it's going to be so practical. I've been a bit obsessed with all the features. It comes with Microsoft office, which is great because I've been really irritated with LibreOffice's compatibility issues. I'm using this app called Docear that appeals to my neuroses about having things in order. PDFs! Notation! Organizing! So good. Also, Microsoft OneNote will be invaluable when I actually do the interviews because you can record and take notes at the same time, then connect the point in the recording with what you've written. Oh, technology. It really brings out the consumer in me. Oh well, like I said: I'm really content right now. 

Job...s?

This gig at the Kreuzberger Kinderstiftung is going so well. I'm almost afraid to be writing about it, in case something unforeseen comes along and swoops me away from all this happiness. I'm a bit ahead of schedule, in terms of going through files, organizing the current data, reading articles, researching, and planning. I've gotten my research proposal approved by one of my advisors, and am waiting to work on it a bit more to get it approved by my other advisor. The next step is all about developing the interview questions and written survey. It's actually pretty exciting!

This is where I've been working for the past few weeks. The building is a beautifully renovated house along the river where the districts Treptow, Neukölln, and Kreuzberg meet.

I even have a key!

And with all this going so well, there wasn't much that could heighten my feeling of accomplishment...except for the fact that I got another part-time position that I'd been really wanting. The head of the Global Studies Program managed to arrange an assistant for our new coordinator. The position will last ten months, which means I have to stay in Berlin longer (boohoo). It also offers me a lot of advantages, including a supplementary paycheck as well as the institutional capital that should protect me from being deported. Not only was I pretty sure that I fit the profile of the candidate they were looking for (GSPian, administrative experience, native English, fluent German) I'm also 100% sure that this is something that I want to do. It's exactly the field that I'm hoping to get into when I'm done with school and it's something that I'm certain I'll be good at. Facilitating study abroad and helping others is definitely something I want to do with my life.

The only issue now is waiting for the bureaucratic things to go through...there is the slight chance that my Kinderstiftung job will make it more difficult to get (or possibly prevent me from accepting) the job  at the university but, I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope everything works out. In this, like most cases of good fortune throughout my life, I am tentatively optimistic. I won't actually believe something good has happened until I've signed a contract, and have been working for about a month. Still, it's nice to have some positive, hopeful vibes. 

jawb job jobby jobberton job

I have sent out around 80 emails looking for something to do so that people that want me to do that thing will give me money for it. Mostly translation, English-speaking jobs, working at cafés, and the like. It is exhausting. One thing I'm not the biggest fan of: Trial days. Germany had this wonderful idea that people should do unpaid Probetage to find out if my employment could possibly benefit the company. Meaning I've wasted more than ten hours pretending to be somewhere of my own free will, just for someone to decide "it's just not the right fit". My favorites included the time I went to an English-speaking interview to work for Netflix, with an English aptitude test during the first round only to find that it would be customer support in German. And that my German was "excellent but not good enough"....Okay. Or the time when I went to one of the fancy parts of the city (45 minutes there and back) only to be told in a five minute interview that the job might be too difficult. "It's a shame but sorry, I don't think this will work out."
Luckily, thanks to the glorious powers of Vitamin B (B for relationship...in German) I was offered a position to work for the Kinderstiftung whose original job offer I turned down for various reasons. This gig is actually going to be legit. Essentially, I'll write my thesis on their organization, they'll pay me, and I get an office and resources to do a kick-ass project. I'm so happy that finally be able to get paid for doing something I actually want to do!